Emotional Mastery – what is it, and how to get there?

The way to lasting inner-peace & clear connections

Let me start by sharing just a little bit about myself…

I was initially a specialist in business and marketing, trained in this field with over 20 years of experience in corporate life.

As far as I can remember, I have been looking for solutions to my personal issues of stress, insomnia, feeling insecure, and other aspects of my own pain. Around the age of 40, I had come to the sad conclusion that there seemed to be no solution for me. Everything I experimented with, with much commitment and dedication, brought a little bit of help, a little bit of relief, a little bit of perspective… but no solution really.

Until about 5 years ago, as I enrolled in an NLP course in England, I had the experience of a release of emotions that absolutely changed my life. It revealed itself as the solution I had longed for, and also the new career path I would then follow.

Since that memorable day, I have practiced releasing my own emotions relentlessly, learnt the technique, applied it with hundreds of people, and mastered it to the point of making it my own – expanding to make it wider and deeper, more radical, and yet softer.

I am delighted to share with you the key elements about Emotional Mastery that are little known and make the whole difference, that make it all possible to live with our emotions in the way they are intended to serve us.

My point in doing so is to give you a sense of what it means, what it takes, but above all, to let you know that it IS possible, and quite simple actually though requiring to put some efforts into it. It is, indeed, a transformation and a training into a whole new, healthy way of life.

Healthy – in many regards…

Healthy, because Emotional Mastery is all about leveraging emotions for what they were intended to be, which means, coming back to our most natural design. Now, that would be healthy  🙂

Healthy, too, and above all, because emotions are the source of every and any problem, any symptom, any manifestation in the body, in the mind, in life in general: overload or overwhelm – lack of self-confidence or self-esteem – life crisis – depression – addiction – pain, physical illness, injuries or other health problems – trauma – phobia – suicidal state – experience of ‘stuckness’ or chaos – identity issues – confusion in sexual or gender orientation – conflicts and relationship matters – burnout – or any patterns of behavior, blocks and obstacles experienced in life…

The deepest roots of ALL these issues are found in emotions, emotional burdens, emotions unattended to, calling for attention, care, release… Which means, when these emotions are finally attended to, the symptoms, problems, manifestations that were nothing but a call, a cry for help, no longer have any purpose, any reason to remain, and they can disappear.

That is true healing, healing at the root, at the cause – and that would be healthy!!  🙂

WHAT IS EMOTIONAL MASTERY?

What Mastery of Emotions means to me is – the ability to fully experience emotions of the moment, and to rely on them as the guidance system they truly are.

What is the role of emotions?

Emotions serve to guide us towards more of what we want, in fact more of what we need – in short, towards more love. When something makes us feel emotions that feel good, they guide us towards more of this. When something makes us feel emotions that feel not good, they guide us away from that, or guide us to change that or how we experience that.

This constitutes a very precious guidance system. I like to compare it to signalisation on the road.

Emotions give us green lights, red lights, stop signs etc and allow us to journey through life – in the safest and most pleasant way – when we do follow the signs!

So what is the problem here?

Emotions of the present / Emotions of the past

This signal system only functions when it is clear. It is clear, means it is purely based on emotions of the moment. It is the fear of the moment, when I’m about to cross the street and a big truck comes at full speed, which makes me run away and save my life. That fear is only relevant at that moment; minutes and hours and days later, it is no longer needed and yet – we all experience, sometimes, holding on to past emotions: retelling an old story from yesterday or long ago, with the same emotional charge, the same rage, or fear, or shame as when we experienced it – which means we carry within us emotions from the past.

The problems caused by emotions from the past

These emotions from the past disturb the signal system. They are like pollution or virus. We don’t get clear signals, we just swim in an emotional swamp. It is difficult to navigate through life without the clear guidance of our present emotions, we over-react or freeze, we accumulate stress, we carry burdens with us… it is exhausting, it is creating sickness and depression.

But there is also one way that emotions from the past affect us, which is very perverse and very little known.

Emotions and memories, among other things, ‘live’ in our unconscious mind. It means they are just there all the time and we are not conscious of them, until they come to the surface. It is like a dark cellar or attic, where all sorts of stuff is stored and we don’t even know what’s there anymore.

But these emotions are not just ‘sitting’ there. They carry an energetic charge, a vibration, which acts like magnet. It attracts that which is of the same energy and vibration. This means that when I hold fear in myself, this fear in my unconscious mind will resonate and attract more fear in my life – it will attract fearful situations and people who create fear in me. Same with anger, shame, guilt… whatever you can think of.

And the same with positive emotions but these obviously don’t cause a problem, we are always okay with attracting more of what makes us feel joy, right? Not so much about what makes us feel fear…

So, the fear in me that I hold from the past, over time, as it attracts and creates more fear, becomes like a snowball. It keeps growing and growing and growing and it is unbearable, heavy, and it totally disrupts our guidance system. It create chaos in our life, our life is out of control and we have no clue what to do about it.

Well, there is only one thing to do about it – it is to get rid of the bunch of anger, of sadness, of fear, of pain, of guilt, of shame and of despair, that we carry inside and which belong to the past – to the past in this current lifetime, since we were born; even before our birth, we will have received emotions from the mother; and we inherit emotional burdens from generations before us; even from past lives, if we want to consider this possibility…

HOW CAN EMOTIONAL MASTERY BE ACHIEVED?

As you now understand it, the key to Emotional Mastery is to have a clear guidance system, without the of the emotions from the past.

Living in the guidance of emotions of the present

We can simply enjoy the ride of life, enjoy the journey, following the signalisation just like on the road: when we perceive the feeling of an emotion, we get it as a signal; we may need to pause for a moment, to really receive the message, the meaning of this signal (what is this emotion intending to let me know, see, notice, change? do I need to move, do I need to react, and how?…), and then, once this insight, this pearl has been received, we let go of the emotion; it is gone, it no longer serves, no longer is relevant, we forget about it and move on lightly and freely, feeling guided and supported for our highest good. As we experience glimpses of anger, fear, pain, … they last only for as long as is needed for us to notice them and receive their guidance, and then they disappear, leaving place to peace, confidence, clarity.

But… How do we do that? How do we recover a clear emotional guidance system, free from pollution, distortions, interferences from emotions of the past?

The good news is – yes, it is totally possible, feasible, available to all of us.

But it has nothing to do with what we have been told, shown, offered so far

‘Solutions’ that are not solutions…

We all have heard or read about ‘expressing your emotions’, ‘controlling or managing your emotions’, ‘denying or suppressing your emotions’…

To start with, ‘denying or suppressing your emotions’ – that is obviously what leads to many many diseases, sickness, injuries – I dare say, to all health issues.

All health issues can be traced down to emotions that have been stuck and stuffed inside (possibly in previous generations, possibly in previous lifetimes). And as they want to be freed, the only way they find to get our attention is through our body. There, we feel them, even though we do not always know that this pain or disease is an expression of an unconscious emotion – or we do not always want to face it.

So this, I would suppose we all agree, is not healthy, it is not a solution!

As for ‘controlling your emotions’, it takes a lot of energy, it is draining; besides, control is enforced and at some point, the pressure becomes too strong to hold and that is when we get out of control, freak out, over-react, …

‘Expressing your emotions’, on the moment may bring relief; a good yell, punching pillows, a good cry do feel good on the moment… and some time later in the day or even a few days later, we’re back to where we were…

So, none of these really are solutions – but even worse, with all these so-called solutions, the emotions are still present inside of us, they keep pulsing, disturbing our guidance system, and snowballs keep growing – we attract and experience ever more fear and anger and shame etc, no matter how well we deny, control or express our emotions.

So that does not work. All that we know, it does not work!

Solutions that work!

The good news is, there are little-known ways that DO work. They consist in properly RELEASING the emotions. Setting them free. Setting ourselves free from them, so that they no longer squat our unconscious mind!

These solutions, which are real and effective solutions, include energy work, or what is known as EFT or tapping – and I want to present the approach that I practice, teach and intend to spread widely.

All of these approaches have in common the dissolution of the emotion right from its root – it is like melting down, or exploding, disintegrating the snowballs. They just disappear. It sounds like magic and it is so powerful and effective that, yes indeed, it is a bit magical – but as I will explain to you now, it all makes sense. That’s not magic, but common sense after-all, which we all can use. By ourselves and/or with the guidance and support of a professional, until we learn to do it by and for ourselves for ourselves – and that is when we reach Emotional Mastery.

The Deep Release approach I practice is very radical. It can release whole layers of emotions at once. It is like throwing a fishing net, catching all that is present and transforming it into something else – like melting a block of ice, even an iceberg, into a flow of water, or even evaporating it into a light breeze.

To this effect, I use transformational language, combined with energy work -I talk, guide, give instructions, induce a slight trance and flow energy at the same time-, and I apply the following 3 simple principles:

  • 1. emotions in the unconscious mind (in the dark) need to be brought to consciousness (in the light) to be transformed.
  • 2. snowballs of emotions are teachers: they hold pieces of wisdom for us – they will only go away after they have delivered their secrets to us ; as we receive them, they no longer have a purpose and…. pooof!! they are gone!
  • 3. forgiveness is the core wisdom of the emotional snowball – deep down, there is always something or someone to forgive. To truly forgive, with all our heart, and forgiveness to be received. Very often, it is about forgiving ourselves even more than forgiving others. Forgiveness transforms and heals, and all that remains is peace, and love.

So you see, it is very simple after-all: 1. bring it up, 2. listen to it and receive, and 3. forgive.

We might need to learn to practice with a professional and train ourselves a bit until this becomes second nature. And it will, if such is our choice. I can promise you that. And our life is changed for the better.

THE BENEFITS OF EMOTIONAL MASTERY

It is a rebirth, when we get rid of the load of emotions we had accumulated since our birth, before our birth, inherited from previous generations and possibly previous incarnations. It is something we can choose to go through at our own pace, layer-by-layer, over time, or more radically, all at once… and it is all right to do it the way that suits us, and suits where we are in our lives right now. All I can say is that 100% of the persons I have guided in this process, from very little kids to teenagers and adults of all age and all profiles, have enjoyed a liberation that goes way-beyond what they had expected or thought to be possible for them.

What comes out of this emotional clearing is, really, a clear connection. Without the pollution, the noise, the excess bagage, we are more in-tune with our intuition. Obviously, we have a clear guidance by our emotional guidance system. But also, we receive higher insights, we are connected to higher parts of ourselves. Health issues are healed as we are more in-tune with ourselves. We enjoy clear connections with others. The chaos and issues in our lives slow down, and even can disappear!

Layer-by-layer, it is the restricting ego-self that is shrinking, that is weakened and being erased. That tough skin, which made us separate from ourselves, from others, from the universe, from spirit…. it dissolves. And with each layer, we become more and more of what we truly are. And experience ourselves as what we truly are, which is spirit in a human body. That is the truth of who we really are, each of us human beings. All we need to do, to know so and to be so, is to shed the skin, the shield, the protection, the separation, the clothing of the little ego, and allow ourselves to step into the full magnificence of our unique expression of spirit in a human body.

This is the real and true promise of the release of emotions.

This is the true promise of Emotional Mastery! 

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author: Sophie Bidard — sophiebidard555@gmail.com

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